Ten

When you were 10, what did you want to be when you grew up? What are you now? Are the two connected?

Oh, what a loaded question this is right now.

I honestly don’t remember what I wanted to be when I was ten. I do remember that I spent a lot of time reading anything I could get my hands on. And writing stories—although mostly in my head. I very rarely, back then, sat down and laid a story down on the page. My playtime, though, always involved making up a story of some kind, if only to myself. I also read a lot—anything I could get my hands on. (I still do that. I can’t imagine NOT reading for even a day.)

When I got a bit older—middle school—I started actually writing some of my stories down. I also joined the school orchestra, playing viola. Through middle and high school I imagined becoming a professional musician and/or an author. I entered college as a music major. That lasted only one semester. Music school was a nightmare for me. (But that’s for another post.) I still love music. But I don’t have thoughts of auditioning for the New York Philharmonic anymore. I sing in my church’s choir, and I also picked up the guitar somewhere along the way. And that’s enough.

When I first left college, I took a job at the public library. I loved that job. I still miss that job, even now. I quickly realized that I wanted to work in the library forever. I left my job at the circulation desk after only a couple of years, planning to finish my BA, then take a master’s degree and become a librarian. But you know the saying, “Life is what happens while you’re making other plans.” As of yet, I still don’t have my BA, much less an MLS degree. So what AM I doing now? Accounting. Which is about as far removed from what I’m passionate about as anything can be. I love stories, and music, and creativity—not numbers. Not balance sheets and P&L statements and tax filings and processing the payroll. And that’s a constant source of frustration right now. I’ve been at my accounting job for almost eight years and I am SO OVER IT. I may not remember exactly what I dreamed of doing at ten years old—but I know it wasn’t this.

I’m making plans right now to do something about that. I AM going to finish my degree(s), damn it. And finally find work I love. But that’s awhile off. In the meantime, there’s only this office, and another stack of invoices to write.

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